


Down to Business

by Amed



Series: Business of the Heart [3]
Category: Bakuten Shoot Beyblade, Beyblade
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Domestic Violence, Dubious Consent, F/F, F/M, Gender Dysphoria, Gender Issues, Gender or Sex Swap, Genderbending, Non-Explicit Sex, Past Child Abuse, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rating May Change, Violence, Violent Sex, Warnings May Change, Yuri, ooc, self-abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-31
Updated: 2014-09-08
Packaged: 2018-01-17 16:34:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1394593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amed/pseuds/Amed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[Sequel of 'The Heart of the Problem']</p><p>'He loved her, loved her so much it was painful...because she loved someone else'<br/>Kai and Hilary had broken up, and the dual-blunette went to Tyson for comfort, but will he be able to remain a good friend and do what's right? Or will he be selfish? And what about Hilary? Is there really no way for her and Kai to get back together?</p><p>Ending couple to be discovered! =)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is the sequel of my fic "The Heart of the Problem", which is also being published on ff.net.  
> This sequel is gonna be more serious, so read the notes at the end!
> 
> For now, enjoy this prologue!
> 
> Chapter's warnings: Maybe some OOCness, some bad language, sarcasm, Tyson's probably bashing Hilary a little (but they will bash each other a lot in this fic).
> 
> Disclaimer: Beyblade does not belong to me, or there wouldn't be any 'second generation' crap! -no offense to those who like that series-

How long has it been since it happened? Six years? Maybe seven?

Perhaps even longer than that, he's not really sure.

He won't go as far as to say that it was a 'at a first glance' thing, no, that's ridiculous. But it's pretty damn close to that, if you take into consideration all the time that passed since then and now.

It was hard to tell, really…it's just…he wasted so much time not realizing it happened, he doesn't even know  _when_ it happened…it just did.

He, Kinomiya Tyson, was in love with Hiwatari Kai.

Madly, extremely, so, so much painfully in love with her it was unbelievable.

And it…well it sucks, to be honest. With a huge capital 'S', and 'U'…and add the other letter now that we're at it.

Why does it suck, you ask? Because he's an idiot, that's why!

Tyson has grown up a lot since his wild, crazy teenage days, and he has matured a lot –yeah, ha-ha, laugh! He doesn't care-; and one part of growing up and maturing was to look back at yourself and admit how much dumb, stupid, oblivious and idiotic to the point of 'I should go back in time and punch myself in the face' you were.

And he admitted that, he did, he really did. And it was all so…so…frustrating!

Yes, that was the word! Frustrating!

He was so damn frustrated at his teenage-self! –and 'not-so-teenage'-self too.

I mean, looking back now at all the interactions he had with his former rival across the years, his feelings were so damn OBVIOUS they were practically slapping him in the face, and no~! He could not tell them apart from simple friendship/brotherhood.

He could sort of forgive himself for not realizing that while he still thought Kai was a  _boy_ , because…you know…gay-stuff and let's not go into that!

But heck, even then he knew that what he felt for the dual-blunette was deeper than what he felt for any of his friend – _any_  of them.

He felt calm, comfortable, and secure with her. He felt like they understood each other and could be themselves freely, and most of all, he had fun with Kai. And believe me, Kai was no heart-of-the-party, not now, not then, not ever!

So, you see where this is going? Yeah, yeah, he knows that it's perfectly feasible to feel like that for a friend, but…you don't  _stalk_  your friends.

No! He totally did NOT stalk Kai. All he did was done inside the boundaries of normal human behavior. 'Cuz, you know, friends know where their friends live, and while Kai knew where Tyson lived –had stayed there quite a few times-, it's didn't go the other way around.

And that took him to find out all about the orphanage and Dranzer's wielder's life after Voltaire.

Which hasn't been a pretty business and has made him feel like and awful person and a terrible friend, especially when Kai's answer to the question 'Why haven't you said anything?' was 'What did you think had happened?', 'cuz it was true, he haven't thought.

For him, Voltaire's business had ended that day after his first World Championship, and he never gave much thought about it ever since. Nobody did; at least, nobody that matter.

So yeah, he felt like shit for doing that, and to remediate his huge mistake, he had the very clever idea to open his big mouth and say 'Come live with me!'

Now, asking Kai to move in with him was not a bad idea  _per se_ , and if he had to do it again he would –'cuz seriously, that orphanage…no-, but what made him so mad at himself that he wanted to choke himself to death with an apple –yes, an apple- was his inhuman ability to ignore all the signs that told him that he was in love with his friend.

Because, one of the more important things that had happened since he said those four words, was Kai telling him that she was a  _girl_.

And…man, that was so…ridiculous! Just thinking about it made him laugh out loud in embarrassment…boy, they had been so awkward! It was hysterical, really, but also one of those things they were not going to tell anyone. Ever. Mainly because it would look bad on him.

You see, when the dual-blunette decided to tell him the true, she took him to her bedroom and sat him down on the floor, then she sat in front of him, breathed deeply and blurted out the truth without hesitation and with her 'no-nonsense' face –which is basically her normal face, just more…intense-.

Tyson, being a man of action that needed to check things for himself, did the only thing that he had available at that moment to prove the other's statement, so he recurred to 'touching'.

And no, he did  _not_  cup her breast, geez…there was no breast to cup anyway! She was still on full disguise, for god's sake, have a little respect people! ...He didn't cup her boobs, no, he grabbed her  _crotch_.

That's the only actual way to know, people! You can get boob implants, or even have man boobs, but what's below the waist never lies! And there was definitely nothing there, which made the other's previous statement true.

Thankfully –in a way-, he did not spend much time freaking out about the whole 'Oh my god! My best friend is a girl!' thing, because said friend broke his nose.

Like, literally, she broke his nose. They had to go to the hospital and everything. Good thing was that he was too busy trying to get blood stains out of his yellow t-shirt to worry about all the implications Kai being a girl had.

So yay! He had more than one girl that was his friend and the only thing that changed was having to buy the occasional feminine product now and then, and enduring the utter embarrassment that brought –because the dual-blunette being the oh, so good friend she was, made him do those stuff.

Ok, let's not lie, things did change. The problem was him not realizing the way in which they changed, at least not consciously.

Because, boy…his body…it sure noticed the difference.

Now, get your minds out of the gutter, you perverts, it's not like that! Not entirely like that, to be honest.

You see, when you're in love, you want to be close to that person, to have some sort of physical contact with them, regardless of how minimal. And the way his body managed to accomplish that while by-passing his mind's obliviousness, was to tackle Kai to the floor, the couch, the bed or any other available surface and wrestle with her.

Which was a fancy way of saying 'getting beat up by her'; but through sheer force of repetition, insistence, and what he now is sure were great amounts of masochism, the dual-blunette eventually got used to it.

In fact, they both got used to each other in time and things that at first were annoying –like Tyson's lack of respect for personal space and Kai's tidiness that borderline on OCD- became normal, and even endearing to some extent.

So the frustrating part intensified since then, because once thing became routine, he could no longer blame his…ehem, 'physical excitement' to exercise –it happens to all professional athletes! Ask anyone!-

The need to be close to her, to touch her, to feel her warm body pressed against his was…unbearable. He wanted her. He needed her. And yet his mind kept screaming in denial that it was totally innocent and not at all romantic.

It literally took Kai moving out and not being there 24/7 for him to realize his feelings.

And man, how cliché is that? It was pathetic, it was seriously pathetic, and it was so, so sadly the truth.

The first night after the dual-blunette was gone, he had sat down on the couch, and he had never felt more alone in his life like at that moment.

His house has never been so big, and empty and quiet. It was terrifying to finally notice how much importance a single person had on his life.

He missed her. He missed the sound of her voice, the way she smelled, that lazy smile she greeted him with on the mornings –a small, sleepy curl of the lips-, the special way she arranged the silverware –the napkin always to the left of the plate and the silverware on top of it-, and the soft 'hum' sound she made the moment before falling asleep.

He loved her…and it sucked, and all for one big reason.

Hilary.

And yes, he knows it sound bad, but he had thought about it over and over and there was no way to make it not sound bad, so what are you gonna do?

Hilary was the only thing that came between him and the love of his life, and it was totally unfair!

I mean, he saw Kai first, for god's sake! He introduced them! If it weren't for him they wouldn't even know each other! That hussy brunette came out of nowhere and stole away the price, without give anyone else a chance!

And that's jealousy talking people! Jealousy is ugly, deal with it!

Ehm…he kind of got carried on back there, let's get back to what's important.

To sum up, he loved Kai, Kai loved someone else, and it was killing him inside. And one of the secondary effects of the whole 'dying inside' thing was ignoring other important aspects of his life, mainly the girl he was dating at that time.

Poor girl, she didn't deserve how things ended up between them. He wishes her the best.

So an eight month relationships ended up awfully and he felt like a douchebag, and everything was crap and the only person that actually made him happy was being happy with someone else.

So yeah, life was wonderful!

Well, not everything was so bad. Things started to look better once Kai invited him over to her apartment to watch some movies, in her awkward attempt to cheer him up.

But once he had a taste of what it used to be like being with her, he wanted more. And regardless of what the dual-blunette thought about herself, there was one very easy way to manipulate her, only using one single thing.

Guilt.

Yeah, he guilt-trip her into spending more time with him. He's not too proud about it, honestly, but he was in a very delicate emotional state of mind, so stop judging him!

He was a bad friend, he truly was. He only thought about himself and what he wanted, it never crossed his mind what an imposition he was giving his friend nor the problems it caused in her relationship with her girlfriend.

Said girlfriend had to open his eyes for him to realize what he was doing to his loved one.

Now don't get him wrong, he's not mad at Hilary, she was in all her right to do what she did. He was actually thankfully.

She made him realize how pathetic he was being, mourning over a person who loved someone else.

He wanted to be a better friend for Kai, and forget all about her and move on, for his own sake.

So, as a good friend, he stopped interfering so much with Kai's life.

As a good friend, he listened when she talked about marriage.

As a good friend, he went with her to go ring-shopping.

And as someone who has been in love for over a decade, he wanted one taste, one simple, little kiss and he'll move one.

It was just a very convenient coincidence that Christmas just happened to be around the corner, and even better yet all their friends would be on Japan for the occasion.

Tyson missed his friends. People leaving and losing touch was something he has never been able to handle very well, he right out didn't liked it.

So this would be like killing two birds with one rock. He'll get to see Rei, Max and everyone and he'll finally put an end to his obsession over Kai.

So he prepared everything. Got all he needed, cleaned up the whole house and made every call that needed to be done.

When the day finally arrived, he was pretty nervous, to tell the truth. So he drank himself to a stupor to get the courage to steal a kiss from his best friend.

And then…then…it…all became blurry. He sort of knows he got that kiss he wanted, and maybe a little bit more, and the next thing he knew was being woken up by a glass of water to the face –courtesy of Daichi- because he passed out on the back yard.

But it didn't mattered what had happened the night before; he got up that 25th feeling relieved, like a weight had been lift off of his shoulders.

For now on, Kai would be happy with someone else and he eventually will find someone to be happy with too.

But first thing first, he needs to clean up the house. And he was about to do that when someone knocked on the door.

He opened the door and came face to face with the ultimate image of sadness, incarnated in the woman that, regardless of how many conviction he could master, he still loved with all his heart.

Kai smiled that smile that told him that whatever it was that had brought her here this early in the morning was much, much worse than he imagined.

"Hilary broke up with me"

Oh…crap.


	2. Chapter I: Shock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyson doesn't know how to handle a break-up and Kai can't deal with pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter's Warning: Angst (or is it drama?), some OOC, you probably won't like how characters react here, it confuses more than what it explains, and I'm so tired I can't even...
> 
> Disclaimer: Beyblade doesn't...ugh...to sleepy to care...

He had to be honest with himself: he had no clue what to do now. He did not expect this to happen. It never crossed his mind…not even once.

Ok, that was a lie. He had dream about it several times.

Of course, in his dreams, it was a beautiful day outside and Kai was smiling when she told him, and then she would throw herself at his arms and they will have hot, passionate sex in the middle of…wherever it was they were in the dream, he wasn't picky.

But  _this_ …

What should he do? What must he do? What should he say? He was never good at break ups!

Ok, ok, calm down! Let's start with the little things. It's freezing outside, let her in.

"Oh, good…" Tyson took one step forward and touched Kai's check, feeling how cold she was "Come in, you're freezing"

The dual-blunette smiled sadly in form of gratitude and he ushered her inside, taking her bag for her.

The girl looked…lost, for lack of a better word. She was standing there, hugging herself and looking down at the floor, surely about to start crying.

But Tyson knew Kai, and that was surely not going to happen any time soon.

"Here, sit down" he grabbed her arm and guided her to the couch "God, you're shaking. What are you wearing under that?" he asked once she sat down, going to get one of the extra covers from the closet.

"Just a…shirt" the girl's voice was barely over a whisper and she wasn't really moving.

Tyson swallowed hard, this was…awful didn't quite make it justice. And he didn't know what to do to make it better.

"Here" he said draping the cover over Kai's shoulder and walking around the couch to kneel before her.

The dual-blunette had an empty look on her eyes, gazing into infinity but not really looking at anything; and it broke the blunet's heart to see her like this.

"Hey…" he called her, to no available "Hey!" he called her again and took both her hand in his, finally getting her attention "Listen to me. It's gonna be ok"

Maybe it was a little too optimistic to say that now, he didn't even know what happened, but what else was he going to say?

"I promise it'll be ok" Kai looked at him with disbelief all over her face, and he didn't like that "I promise. I'll get you some tea, you'll warm up and…" he sighed, ignoring the pain that what he was about to say caused "We'll fix this up, I swear"

If he had to be honest with himself, he didn't really want to fix the relationship between Kai and Hilary. But above all else, he didn't wanted Kai to be like this ever again.

He wanted her to be happy, and if being with Hilary made her happy, then so be it.

Kai smiled softly. It was still a sad smile, but a different kind of sadness. A hopeful one. And she held his hands a little tighter.

"Thank you"

/-/-/-/-/-/

"Here you go" he said passing a cup of tea to her friend, who eagerly took a long sip from it as soon as it was in her hands.

"Thanks" Kai said once she dank half the content of the cup, holding it tightly between her hands to heat them up.

Tyson sat beside her on the couch, wanting to hug her and pull her close to him, but not sure if he should.

The ex-blader had barely said a word since she came in, and she had only moved enough so the cover was covering all her body.

She was in a catatonic state, apparently. Not thinking, not feeling, just…existing.

It was not good, and he wanted her to react, however badly.

"Hey…" he called, and the other sat a little straighter on her spot as a sign that she was listening "About what you said" he swallowed, this was a delicate question, but it needed to be asked; he needed to know "What happened?"

At his question, Kai straightened more on her spot, put the cup down on the coffee-table, and looked at the roof with astonishment.

"I don't…know" she said, and he could tell it was true "She just…" she shook her head, not able to put into words something she didn't even understand.

She was re-living what had happened over and over in her mind and she still could not make any sense of it.

She was not a cheater. She had never cheated. She wasn't even interested in other people, for god's sake!

What would make Hilary think that she…?

"I don't get it" the girl sighed dejectedly and covered her face with one of her hands, getting in a semi-fetal position.

Tyson wanted to say something to make her feel better, but admittedly he didn't know  _what_  to say.

Over the years they've known each other, Kai have never had a break up. Fights? Yes, but a break up? Normally she was the one to console him after a break up, regardless of how awkward her attempts at doing so were.

He carefully put a hand on her back, trying to ease her erratic breathing.

"God, this is stupid" the dual-blunette said while straightening and forcing her breathing to normalize.

"Oh, come on, it's not" the ex-world champion said in a reassuring way, hopping things won't go to  _that_  place "There's nothing wrong with crying after what happened"

The minute those words left his mouth Kai turned to look at him with angry, watery red eyes –that were redder than normal-, and he knew they were already on  _that_  place.

"I am NOT crying" of course she wasn't. She never was. What was he thinking?

That's angry sarcasm, by the way.

He did not liked the way his friend had for 'dealing' with sadness, he never had. He knew it had to do with the way she was raised, but after all this time he had hoped she had given up on that whole 'crying is a weakness' thing.

"Kai" he said with a serious tone, ready to argue about repressed feelings and how stupid that was.

"Aren't you going to clean up in here?" but before he could say anything else, the dual-blunette abruptly changed the subject.

Tyson looked at her, stunned by the interruption and saw the raw need for distraction in her eyes. She wasn't ready to talk about it, not yet, and the least he could do for her was allowing her some time to process what had happened.

"I was about to start" if he sighed in frustration, she didn't mentioned it "but then you came in"

Kai breathed and nodded in understanding, not wanting to think about this morning and what had brought her here.

She felt the knock on her throat tightening and her breathing accelerating once more, clear signs of impending crying; so she slapped herself lightly on the cheek to keep the tear at bay.

Tyson hated when she did that. Those stupid ways she had to keep it all inside. She had has them for as long as he had known her, never quite able to let them go.

"You still keep everything in the same place?" Kai asked, determinate to distract herself and not think about things that were illogical, made no sense and were surely just a cruel joke.

The blunet frowned sadly, looking at the wetness in her eyes and the soft-red print of her own hand in her cheek, and nodded.

He didn't liked what his red-eyed friend was doing, but he wasn't about to force her to cry when she obviously didn't wanted to.

Not now at least…

/-/-/-/-/-/-/

What. A. Day!

It was freaking cold outside. It snowed a couple of times. It took tame  _hours_  to clean up the whole mess. The snow had made it impossible for them to leave the house to see their friends off at the airport. There was not enough alcohol to cheer things up and…oh! He almost forgot! His best friend was dying inside and fiercely pretending not to.

All in all, a great day…

…That was sarcasm if you didn't get it by now.

Tyson looked up at the roof and sighed tiredly. He couldn't sleep, not one bit.

This whole business with Kai was messing up with his head, and he had a nagging feeling at the back of his mind that he was somehow responsible for all of it.

Kai hadn't said a word on the subject once they started cleaning –haven't said much at all for that matter-, so he didn't really know why has Hilary broken up with her; but he felt guilty nonetheless.

Ugh…what had happened the other night? What exactly did he do?

For the life of him, he could not remember clearly. He had vague images of kissing Kai, but mostly just sensations and feelings, nothing really certain.

Maybe Hilary saw them and that's why she decided to end it with the dual-blunette?

That could be, but…he kind of imagined the brunette more of the likes of 'breaking his nose for kissing her girl' than one to just 'give up'.

One of the good things Hilary had was that she never gave up without a fight, and this looked like a complete surrender.

So, he either wasn't seeing things as they were, or there was more to this than whatever it is he and Kai did the other night.

He sighed again in defeat. There was no point in pondering about this, not when the dual-blunette was denying being affected by it in anyway.

He needed to make Kai talk, to face her feelings, to  _really_  face them, and vent out. What she was doing did her no good, and she should know that by now…

"Ty?" a hesitant call and the sound of his bedroom's door being open ajar distracted him from his thought, and twisting to face said door he was met with his unexpected –jet not unwelcome- houseguest.

Kai was wearing one of his old t-shirt –'cuz she didn't have any pajamas in the suitcase she brought- and she pulled at it a little bit in a useless attempt to cover more of herself –he was still able to see her legs in all their glory-, looking uncertain about something.

"Something's wrong?" he asked worried, in all the time they have lived together, this was the first time Kai has ever came to his room by her own initiative –well, except for that one time when he fell off the bed and she came to check on him.

"No, nothing. It's just…" Kai sighed and looked down at the floor, and Tyson could have swear she was blushing "I guess I kind of got used to sleeping besides someone"

Oh…

So, comfort, that's what she wanted. No words, no promises, just someone to hold her when the pain was at it's strongest.

Yet she was too much proud, too much stubborn, too much 'Kai', to ask directly for it.

Tyson blinked in confusion. It's not like they have never share the same bed before –once she had gotten tired of kicking him out of her bed, he used to sleep with her at least twice a week, till she got into a relationship-, and he definitely wanted to make her feel better, it's just…

This was the same woman he had, no less than 24 hours ago, been determinate about forgetting. And here she was, half naked on his threshold, begging him to let her in and laid beside him on the bed.

If he didn't know any better, he'll say that this was a gift from the cosmos…

The blunet sighed and moved to one side of the bed, and Kai quickly got in beside him.

"Thank you" she said after a while once they settled in beside each other "For letting me stay…for this"

"It's nothing" he shook his head, there was really no way he could say 'no' to this woman.

Kai looked at him conflicted. She wanted to say something, he knew, he could see it in her eyes, but she was hesitant, not ready to do it.

Maybe not even ready to face the reality she would encounter in the morning once she wake up and realize that the day before have, in fact, happened and it wasn't just some bad dream.

She contented herself with just holding his hand for a while, holding on to it for dear life.

"You're a good friend" she said and, with a final squeeze, she let go of his hand and turned around to go to sleep.

Tyson waited for a while till he heard it, that soft 'hmm' that signaled that she was already in Morpheus's hands, and sighed dejectedly.

With a freedom he wasn't sure he had, he hugged the dual-blunette from behind, pressing their bodies together, and buried his face on her hair, breathing in the sweet essence that was only Kai's.

No, he wasn't a good friend. He didn't think he was. Not when this, this moment right here, right now, was making him so immensely happy.


	3. Chapter II: Those things you hate.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Running into your ex after a difficult break-up can be a very complicated thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter's warnings: Some bad words, some OOC, mentions of Yuri and hints to much bigger problems.
> 
> Disclaimer: Beyblade doesn't belong to me or I wouldn't be looking for a job.

"Honey, I'm home!" Tyson said closing the door.

This has been an awful day, and he was angry and annoyed, so if he had sounded a little sarcastic, who could blame him?

"What's up with you?" Kai's voice came from the kitchen, and he saw her standing by the kitchen's door looking weird at him, holding a cup of tea between her hands and wearing one of his shirts.

"I just had a horrible day at work" he said dropping down on the couch. The warm, fuzzy feeling that invaded his insides when seeing her in his clothes did help alleviate some of his annoyance, but he tried to ignore it.

It has been a little more than a week since Christmas, and by January 2th the dual-blunette had taken a little bit too much liberty with borrowing from his wardrobe. It's not like he minded, it's just kind of weird seeing Kai once again in male clothes.

"How was  _your_  day?" he asked once the girl sat beside him.

"Hn" was her answer, which translates to 'bad', which means it was the same as yesterday and the day before…and all days since a week ago "I actually wanted to ask you something"

Ok, this was new. Ever since that day, the only thing Kai has done was drown herself in work –if she could have done her work while staying all day in bed, he was sure she would have done so.

"What you need?" he asked stretching on the couch, trying to forget all that had happened today.

"I'm out of clean clothes…" well, tell him something he didn't know, they both did the laundry here "And I need to pick up some things from…my old apartment"

Oh, so that's were her bad humor came from! Who wouldn't _love_ the idea to see you ex after such a difficult break-up?

"Ok…" he didn't really need her to ask for help, plus he knew she never directly asked for help "I'll go with you" he would have agreed no matter what she asked.

The dual-blunette timidly rested a hand on his shoulder, squishing a little in form of gratitude, and if Tyson leaned a little bit closer to her touch, she didn't mention it.

"Thank you" a small smile curled her lips, and he condemned the day that smile started to brighten his whole life "Hurry up, we leave in five minutes"

What?!

/-/-/-/-/-/

Finally the clock hit 8:00 p.m. and Hilary was able to go home.

Work was exhausting, but that was just fine for her. She just wanted to go home and lay down and not think about things she didn't wanted to think about.

She was seriously starting to considering getting rid of all the things that reminded her of her ex, it was just so depressing to going back to an apartment that seem to _smell_ of the dual-blunette, regardless of how much she cleaned it.

A part of her told her that she shouldn't do that, that it would just make things worse between her and Kai.

Of course, that same part was encouraging her to  _call_  her ex-girlfriend, so she wasn't sure she should listen to it.

The walk back from work was a boring as it usually was, which was annoying, because there was nothing to distract her of those forbidden thoughts.

The brunette had been trying so hard for the last week and so to clear her mind of every thought concerning the crimson-eyed women, to not remember her while lying alone in bed not being able to fall asleep, because she didn't really wanted to think about her.

Hopefully, soon she'll be home and on her bed.

/-/-/-/-/-/

Kai was holding a picture frame in her hands, she was supposed to be packing some of her possession to take back to the dojo, but she had stopped as soon as she saw that picture.

This was stupid, it was  _just a photo_. A photo of Hilary and her on their first vacation together, when they were celebrating their four year anniversary.

A picture wasn't supposed to affect her so much, not when the real memory wasn't stored in there.

But it was…

"Hey…" the voice coming from her left startled her, she didn't realize when she got lost in her thoughts "You ok?" she turned around to see Tyson's worried blue eyes looking at her.

"Yeah…" she said, trying to smile to reassure him "I'll be fine" but she knew better than to try to lie to him.

She wasn't fine. She tried to be, she pretended to be, but she wasn't. In all honesty, she wasn't sure she'll ever feel fine again.

"Come here" the blunet put the bags he was holding on the floor, and extended his arms offering her a hug.

She put the picture frame back on its place, and walked slowly to him. She still had some reservation about personal space and physical contact, but being held by her friend made her feel a lot better.

They stayed like that for a little while, till the dual-blunette broke the hug and said that it was better if they left, Hilary could be home any minute and she didn't want to run into her.

Unfortunately, fate wasn't on her side today, because as soon as she opened the door, she was met face to face with her brunette ex-girlfriend, the keys still on her hands and her brown eyes open as wide as they could go.

They stayed looking at each other for some time, Kai could swear they whispered each other's name, but she wasn't really sure. It was like her mind has gone blank the second she saw the other woman's face.

"What are you doing here?" Hilary asked once the shock passed some, her eyes straying a little from the crimson-eyed woman to the other person on the room, anger suddenly overtaking her when she saw who it was.

"I needed to pick up some of my stuff" Kai said, frowning. The anger in the other's eyes making her feel angry herself.

"And what is  _he_  doing here?" the brunette asked, a frown of her own and nodding despitefully towards the blunet.

"I…" Tyson opened his mouth to defend himself, but he got interrupted before he could say much.

"He's helping me" The anger in Kai's voice was easy to notice, and it was only matched by Hilary's own.

"Oh, so let me guess. You're living with him again" it was supposed to be a question, but it was more of an statement, and the girl crossed her arms to demonstrate how mad she was.

"What did you expect?  _You threw me out!_ " the dual-blunette said raising her voice a little, apparently that was something she had wanted to throw at the other's face for quite some time.

"So the minute we break up, you go crawling back to him?" the brunette didn't raised her voice, but she was practically hissing, he eyes narrowing with anger.

"I really…"

"You shut up!" the boy tried once again to interrupt, wanting to avoid the explosion this conversation was heading to, but as soon as she heard his voice, Hilary yelled at him.

"Don't you tell him to shut up!" Kai said as loudly, pushing Tyson back a little so she was between the other two.

"I can tell him whatever the fuck I want!" the fact that she was  _defending_  him made the brunette even more furious; resorting to insults to express it "This is my damn home! You can't just walk in whenever you want!"

"I don't need your permission to get _my_  stuff!" the anger was starting to get blinding, and she wanted to keep it like that, she didn't wanted to ponder on the other feelings this was arising in her.

"Yes, you fucking do, you bitch!" this was starting to get ugly, and both of them felt the need to just release this hate in some way.

"Ok, girls, don't…" it just happened that Tyson chose that moment to intervene, grabbing each girl by the shoulder to keep some distance between them, and the second his hand touched the brunette's shoulder, she lashed out at him.

A slap resounded across the hallway, closely followed by another. Silence fell upon the room and both hits seem to echo between the walls, but they all know that was highly unlikely to be true.

Tyson touched his sored cheek, it hurt a lot, but it wasn't important right now. The pale hand still rose in the air and said hand's print in a feminine cheek was what mattered.

Kai looked as surprised for what she had done as much as the other two, hands trembling and eyes wide open, she seem to not believe she just raised her hand against the other woman.

The force of the hit had made Hilary turn her head to the right, and it was safe to say she hadn't saw that coming. The dual-blunette had never laid a hand on her with ill wishes; it had seemed like an implied promise that she never would.

But she just had, and the brunette couldn't help to think that it made sense. Kai had hurt her emotionally after swearing that she never would, it was just logical that she will hurt her physically now.

"Get out" she said barely above a whisper and the other woman didn't wasted a second to pick up her bags and leave through the door, not waiting to see if her friend followed her.

Tyson stayed looking at Hilary for a while, he felt like he couldn't leave the girl like this, not when she was the only thing that could make Kai smile for real once more.

"Hil…" he called her, but she didn't seemed to listen to him "I'm sorry" it was the only thing he could think of saying.

The brunette held a laugh and sidestepped the man to finally enter her apartment.

"No, you're not" she said, still not looking at him "You're thrilled about this"

The girl's brown eye locked with his blue ones for a moment, daring him to contradict her. And he couldn't say he was, but he won't lie saying he wasn't either, so he just left.

Hilary closed the door behind her, and leaned against it, tears streaming down her cheeks while the pain on her left one made any thoughts of having a peaceful night's sleep crash down and burn.

/-/-/-/-/-/

"Kai!" he called her, running to catch her, but she just kept walking without even looking back.

When he finally reached her, he graved her by the shoulders and forced her to turn around. The dual-blunette looked miserable, shaken, shocked and one second away from breaking down and crying.

"I can't believe I did that" she whispered, her hands were trembling so much she dropped her bags on the floor, her red eyes wide open and a lone tear running down her cheek.

"I never…I shouldn't…I" her voice broke and her whole body was shaking like a leaf.

Tyson hushed her and held her close, her fingers clutching to his jacket while he patted her back to calm her.

"It's ok" he whispered in her ear, her face buried on his shoulder, and he rocked her a little, as he would a distressed child.

"No, it's not ok" Kai shook her head, the occasional sob she couldn't repress shaking her to the core.

She never wanted to hit Hilary. She didn't know what came to her, her hand just acted on her own. She had never hit a woman. She should _never_ hit a woman.

It was just wrong.

The blunet said nothing. Pretty much anything he said now was going to be a lie. This break up was going to get worse before it got better.

He just hoped that when this all ends, he would never have to hold an –almost- crying Kai in the middle of a cold street ever again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The more serious issues of this fic begin now.


	4. Chapter III: Those things you do.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kai has a way of punishing her own mistakes, not a very healthy one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter warnings: Genderswap, mentioned child abuse (you'll know what I mean), sort-of-but-not-really anorexia (you'll also know what I mean), some OOC (mainly at the end) and minor OC (for now).
> 
> Disclaimer: Beyblade does not belong to me.

It was around 7:45 in the morning and she has only fifteen minutes to get back home, take a shower and go to work.

Kai stopped to take a break, holding her knees while catching her breath. She took a look at her watch, seeing that it had only been 42 minutes since the last time she checked.

Hn, sixty blocks on 40 minutes, not her best mark. Not by a long range.

' _I'm so out of shape_ ' when was the last time she exercised like this?

Oh, not for a long while. Collage and work were very time consuming on their own, combined they barely left her with time to sleep; and even after she graduated, work was still hard and she had to maintain a relationship with…

She shook her head to clear her mind of those thought, she needed to hurry up if she wanted to be on time for work.

/-/-/-/-/-/

Tyson rubbed his eyes, trying to clear the sleep out of them, and picked up his cup, breathing deeply to let the smell of hot coffee fill his longs.

How much he hated those damn monthly reviews. Getting up early has never been something he particularly liked, and having to do so to go to work and spend hours talking about what he did, what he planned to do, new ideas, improvements and what-not was just a torture.

"Morning" Kai greeted him entering the kitchen and opening the fridge to get her sports-drink.

"Morning" he greeted back, taking a sip from his coffee "Out for a run, huh?" it was easy to tell, she was wearing sport-wear and running shoes, plus he could smell her from here.

"Hn" he interpreted that noise she made while drinking as a 'yes'.

"You're not gonna have breakfast?" he asked when he saw her leave the kitchen.

"Can't. Late" woah…he forgot how much monosyllabic Kai could be when she wanted to.

/-/-/-/-/-/

It was almost 12:30 in the afternoon, and Kai knew she should be having her lunch now, but she just needed to finish this reports and she could go.

"Hey, ready to go?" Tyson asked her, and the dual-blunette cursed her distraction, she hasn't even heard him open the door.

"Busy" she said, typing away on her desktop, spearing only a quick look at him.

The man resisted the urge to sigh in annoyance, this was the third time this week she was 'too busy' to go have lunch with him.

"Come on, you promised" he insisted, walking closer to her desk, he wasn't ready to give up just yet.

"Ty, I need to finish this" she said, pausing just a moment to glare at him "Once the European Delegate comes, I have a big presentation with him"

Ah, right. The 'golden boy' of the European BBA was coming here in a few weeks for an inspection. He was supposed to be a big deal, so everyone in the higher ranks was freaking out about his visit.

The blunet sighed defeated once the woman reassumed her typing and went back to ignoring him; he was not going to pry her away from that computer any time soon.

"You want me to bring you something?" Tyson asked before going out of the office. He didn't know if Kai had has breakfast, as she was gone by the time he woke up, but she hadn't eaten anything last night.

"Nah, I'll have something when I'm done" the dual-blunette dismissed him without much care; she really, really needed to finish this.

"Ok" he whispered, concern lacing his face, before closing the door.

He'll trust her word, for now.

/-/-/-/-/-/

It was way past 10:00 p.m. when Kai got back home, and she dropped the bag holding her gym-stuff and walked to the kitchen.

"Nice time to come back" her housemate's voice told her once she entered the kitchen, and she found him by the sink, washing the dishes she was supposed to wash.

"I send you a message saying I would be late" she said while going to the fridge. She didn't apologized, as he had known that she would be late and she hadn't asked him to do her chorus for her.

"Yeah, 'late, don't wait up'" he was pissed off, but not about having to do the dishes "I think I deserve a little more details" he has barely seen her all day and she doesn't even tells him  _why_  would she be late or  _where_  would she be going.

"Well, what you want from me?" he hadn't expected the dual-blunette to snap at him like that, nor the not-so-gently way she closed the fridge.

Tyson bite his tongue to hold his come-back, and sighed telling himself that he shouldn't get angry at her. She was going through a rough time; she had the right to be a little snappy.

"You're not gonna eat?" the blunet asked seeing that the other was leaving after only taking a quick drink of water.

"Nah, I'm beaten" Kai shock her head and walked calmly out of the kitchen.

/-/-/-/-/-/

She had no idea what time it was, she didn't even knew where she was, all she knew was that she had a terrible headache and she felt light-headed.

"Wake up!" somebody yelled in her ear and she woke up with a start. She looked around, finding out that she was laying on the dojo's couch and there was an angry blunet looking down on her.

"What…?" Kai took a hand to her forehead, every one of her limbs felt weak and like if they were detached from her body.

"You fainted on your way out" Tyson crossed his arms and watched her with a frown on his face.

She fainted? She doesn't remember fainting, in fact, the last thing she remembers is heading to work….Oh my god, work!

"What time is it?" the dual-blunette asked while sitting up, not really noticing the angry expression his friend had right now.

"9:30" he answered, a little confused that  _that_  would be the first inquiry she made, but seeing how she tried to stand up, he understood why "You're not going out of this house!"

"I need to get to work" Kai brushed the hands trying to hold her down off, and stood up.

"What you need is to eat!" Tyson grabbed her by the arm and forced her to look at him "For god's sake, Kai, you haven't eaten anything for three days!" at least as far as he knew, but he wouldn't be surprised if it had been longer.

"So I skipped a few meals, what's the problem?" she was getting angry and she tried to get free, but the weakness she felt prevented her to do so.

"What's the problem?!" he let her go, he was seriously two steps away from slapping her till she understood what she was saying "You're not eating, you're working yourself to exhaustion. Can't you see that you're punishing yourself?"

"Why would I do that?" the dual-blunette swallowed hard before saying that, deep down she knew that the other was right, but she didn't wanted to admit it.

"Because that's how you grew up!" the blunet said and she didn't know how to answer to that "You made a mistake and you got punished like this"

"I don't know what you're talking about" she needed to get out of here; she had more important things to do than to be talking about… _those things_.

"Please, I don't need to call to  _Russia_  to know where you get that from!" he said, and silence befell them after that.

She didn't know what to say, because what he said was right.

When she was young, this same punishment had been forced upon her, and to think about what it meant that she was now forcing it upon herself was something that she just didn't want to do.

"You don't understand what you're saying" but she neither wanted to stop.

"Then  _help_  me understand!" the blunet tried to calm down, yelling will get him nowhere, but it angered him so much how the other was letting herself go, that he couldn't avoid raising his voice "I'm trying to help you, but if you don't tell me…!"

"I don't need your help!" Kai yelled as loud as she could. Every fiber of her body was telling her that she  _had_  to ask for help, but she wouldn't.

Only the weak asks for help.

"I never asked you to do anything!" Tyson couldn't believe what the other was saying, or how angry she was, and he stayed wide-eyed listening to it all "Whatever I do with my life is my own damn business!"

The dual-blunette still felt dizzy, her knees were about to give in, her bones ached and her vision was blurry on the edges. She knew what those were signs of, but she didn't want to pay attention to what her body was saying.

She also knew –deep, deep inside- that she was directing all her anger towards a friend who was only worried about her and who didn't deserved any of this, but she didn't want to stop.

"So just leave me alone!" it was the last thing the woman said, and the blunet didn't tried to stop her when she headed for the front door.

It would be a long time before they saw each other again.

/-/-/-/-/-/

It was 12:13 in the afternoon and Kai sighed relieved, walking out of the conference room B.

The meeting had gone well and everyone had liked her presentation, so the day hadn't been as bad as she thought it would be.

After all, she was sure she was going to be late after what happened in the morning…

She sighed again. She should really go apologize…

"Excuse me" a deep, manly voice called her from behind, and she turned around to be face to face with a dark-haired, amethyst-eyed man.

"Hi…" hi? That's what she had to say, hi? This was the damn European Delegate, the man she just had the biggest presentation in her carrier so far with, and all she says is _hi_?

"I don't believe we were properly introduced" the man was tall, a few years older than her and looked regal in a black suit and glasses "I'm Jacob Alekseievich Vasíliev" he also had a rich ascent, but thankfully it was easy to understand him –but she speaks Russian anyway, so…-

"Hiwatari Kai" she shook the hand that was offered and she couldn't help but feel inferior. Few people had ever made her feel like that; Mr. Vasíliev here was, apparently, one of them.

I mean, this was the man everyone was talking about, the one that was soon to become head of the whole European BBA, and he was right in front of her, giving her a little smile that made her feel goosebumps.

"I really enjoyed your presentation today, Miss Hiwatari" oh god, was he giving her a compliment on her work? Her  _superior_  was complimenting  _her_  work?

"I uh…hm" Oh my god, shut up! Couldn't you  _embarrass_  yourself even more? You're  _already_  looking at him with a dumb expression –yes, I know you are-, did you have to make it worst by being tongue-tied?

Mr. Vasíliev only let a deep chuckle escape his throat at seeing how uncomfortable the woman before him was. It was cute.

"I would like to go over some part with you, if you don't mind" he asked, that soft smile still on his face, and Kai could only watch his eyes that seem to be looking right into her soul –which was ridiculous as eyes didn't do that- and nod "Say, over lunch?"

Lunch? Was it already time for lunch? She had thought about finishing some paperwork, and doing other pending stuff, but…

"Sure" she was really starving.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From this chapter to, at least, chapter 6 I'm going to be treating very delicate subjects, so pay attention to the warnings in every chap!


	5. Chapter IV: Those things you can't forget.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drinking is not a good way to solve things...Read warnings!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter's warnings: Alcohol consumption, OOCness (caused by the alcohol), implied non-con/dub-con (sexual relations not consented or with dubious consent, depends on how you look at it), childhood trauma, past underage drinking, hard choices, I explain a little but not much, and, I'm warning you now, rating will go up!
> 
> Disclaimer: Beyblade doesn't belong to me, or I wouldn't be having such a hard time getting the supplies I need for college.

" _Maybe you should start looking for a place to live" that was the first thing Tyson had said to her after three days in which they haven't talk to each other more than what it was necessary "I think it's the best for both of us right now"_

_Kai didn't say she agreed, nor that she didn't understood why he said that, in fact she didn't said anything at all, she just stayed quiet and finished her breakfast._

/-/-/-/-/-/

Kai swirled the content of her glass. Her vision has gone blurry about two and a half glasses ago, but she was way beyond caring.

The sun was setting down, if the light coming through her office's window was any indication, and she downed her drink in one go.

She should have gone home about an hour ago –if she could still call it home, that is-, but while searching through her desk's drawers she found that bottle of brandy someone had gifted her after graduating college, and why the hell not opening it? She didn't drive and no one was expecting her.

It was some really cheap stuff, whoever gave it to her must not like her that much, but it packed a punch and she hadn't realized how much she wanted a drink till she saw the bottle.

The dual-blunette pressed the glass against her forehead, she should go home, but she needed to find a liquor store before.

Boy, if her psychologist could see her right now, he would be having a field trip.

Danm, pretentious bastard…Had she ever told anyone about that part of her life?

No, she had not. Hmm, interesting.

One of the things you were forced to do once you became 'property of the government' under circumstances like hers, was going to see a psychologist once a week.

Oh, she had hated that guy with a passion! Egotistical, pompous ass who thought he was above everyone who came into his office. Those two hours sessions were a complete waste of time.

Now, don't get her wrong, she's not against phycology, she just doesn't believe that a person with as many, or more, problems as she had could help her fix up her life.

Especially when all he ever did was trying to get her to admit about a child abuse she didn't suffered…well, not in the way he thought, at least.

There were a lot of despicable things her grandfather has done, but thankfully,  _that_  wasn't one of them.

Oh, god, why was she thinking about that right now?

Alcohol, that's the problem. Not enough alcohol.

/-/-/-/-/-/

Tyson looked at his watch once more; he was two seconds away from calling the police.

Why? Why hadn't he picked her up after work? Who knew what had happened to her on the way back home!

Ok, that's it! He's going to look for her right now!

"Hey, homie!" he had already grabbed his keys when the front door was opened and his missing housemate's voice was heard.

Kai was standing on the entry way, one hand holding the wall and the other clutching a half empty bottle, and even form this distance he could smell the stench of alcohol emanating from her.

"Where the hell had you been?" he was yelling, but he had every right to be, the dual-blunette hadn't even bothered to call and she showed up completely drunk, and even if they weren't in speaking terms right now, he still cared about her.

"At a liquor store" she said, waiving the bottle she held, as if it should be obvious where she had been, and walked inside the house without even closing the door.

"What the hell where you thinking? And…" Tyson went to close the door, passing by the other, who could barely stand on her own "How much did you drink?"

"What? I'm a grown up!" the woman whined, taking a swing from her bottle "I can do whatever the fuck I want!"

Tyson took a deep breath and tried not to get too angry at his friend, who was obviously not on her right mind.

"Why didn't you call me?" he asked, going to catch her when she tripped with her own two feet.

"Couldn't find my cellphone" the dual-blunette held on to him, still trying to coordinate her legs.

"Where did you leave it?" Tyson held her up straight and tried to take the bottle away from her.

"In my jacket" Kai pushed him away when she saw him reaching for her bottle, and she took a swing from it.

"And  _where_  is your jacket?" the blunet breathed in once more, cursing the other's reflexes even in such an inebriated state.

The woman looked dumbfounded at him for a while, as if she couldn't understand the meaning of the words he just said, but then a realization came to her.

"It's where my cellphone is" she walked to the couch and he tried very hard not to do a face-palm.

"How did you even get home?" he followed after her at a safe distance, just in case he needed to catch her again.

"I car-pulled" she answered, holding into the back of the couch.

"You did  _what_?" Tyson asked, startled, who knew what kind of weirdoes were out there?

"This guy in a trunk brought me" Kai didn't seem to share his concerns "He was so nice, only wanted a favor in exchange"

"A what?!" the blunet was hoping it wasn't what he was thinking. Surely the other wouldn't take such things so lightly, even while drunk.

"Well, nothing's for free, Ty!" she didn't say 'duh!', but it was implied by the way she spoke.

"What did you do?" please, oh please, don't let it be that.

"I'm a  _woman_!" she said putting especial intonation on the last word and letting herself fall face down on the couch "I did what we do best"

Tyson felt himself getting sick hearing those words. He didn't really wanted to know what his friend had done, the hastily done shirt and disheveled hair –which he first thought were just because of the alcohol- were proof enough.

"What the hell did you do?!" he shouldn't really be yelling, nor getting angry at her, but the casual demeanor in which she was taking this was pissing him off.

I mean, this was  _Kai_  they were talking about! The only person in the world that with almost twenty six years of age still could not pronounce the word 'sex'.

"Shh…" the dual-blunette shushed him, moving just enough to be able to see him "It's easy, you just don't swallow"

Tyson wanted so much to strangle his friend right then and there, especially when she took another swing from her bottle.

"Ok, I think you had enough" he tried to take the liquor away from her, but she wasn't going to give it up that easily, and it turned out the other was as strong as she was on her teenage hood.

The blunet struggled for the bottle, he couldn't believe such a smashed person could have so much strength; and Kai wasn't about to let go of it, so to get him off of her, she kicked the other right in the stomach, knocking the air out of his lungs.

Tyson fell to the floor, clutching his stomach, and Kai fell sitting against the couch, clutching her now empty bottle.

Tyson breathed in deeply, willing the pain to stop, and looked at the roof trying to calm down.

"Why did you do that?" he wasn't angry, he was concerned, especially after what the other has said.

"I'm a girl" Kai sounded more sad than anything right now, and she had a lost look in her eyes "That's what I'm good for"

"Who told you that?" he had an idea who had, but the dual-blunette was supposed to be over whatever that man had told her.

"Everyone" she took the bottle to her lips, hoping to catch the last drops of alcohol "Mom was like that"

Mom? As in, Kai's mother? That was…weird.

Kai rarely talked about her parents, but whenever she did it was mostly with 'mother' and 'father', not with any sort of term of endearment. She had even admitted that she didn't call them by their names, because she had never cared enough to ask for them.

So…mom?

"That's not you" she must be more wasted than he thought "That's just the alcohol talking"

Apparently, something in that sentence was very funny for the woman, because she started laughing very hard while trying not to.

"Shh…" she shushed him once she was able to breathe a little better "You can't let grandpa know"

"Grandpa?" Ok, that he had to ask. What grandpa was she talking about?

"He'll get mad" Kai nodded, the alcohol making her speech slur and her head to bob up and down exaggeratedly "He doesn't like it when I steal from his personal stash"

"You mean Voltaire?" Tyson asked and Kai nodded, laughing at his dumbfounded expression.

"Kai…" he waited to get the other's attention, who covered her mouth with a hand to be less loud "Voltaire's dead"

Once those words were out of his mouth, all laughter ended and red eyes looked at him with an incomprehensible expression.

"Oh…right" realization downed on the dual-blunette and she looked at the empty bottle "I wasn't good enough…"

Tyson was about to get up and tell her something to comfort her, as she looked so broken and lost at that moment, but before he could do anything, the dual-blunette fell to the side, finally passing out thanks to the amount of alcohol she had consumed.

The ex-world champion sighed in surrender, and picked his friend up in his arms to take her to her room. He had to hold his breath all the way there, as just the smell coming from her mouth made him dizzy. How much the woman had drank, exactly?

"There you go" he said laying the unconscious Kai on her bed, on her side, trying to make her as comfortable as he could.

"Boy, you're gonna hate yourself so much in the morning" once the other was perfectly tucked in, and a bucket was left near her bed –just in case-, the blunet stayed watching her for a while.

Part of him was really hoping she wouldn't remember much from tonight; Kai was already going through enough bad things to have to deal with…well, you know.

But on the other hand, he couldn't really let this go so easily.

He kissed her on the forehead before leaving the room. When she woke up they needed to have a  **serious**  talk.

/-/-/-/-/-/

The noise from the alarm clock woke her up, and before she could even complain about it, she took it and threw it against the wall, smashing it into pieces.

Her head hurt too much to even moan in pain, and the simple act of touching her forehead with her hand made her stomach twist painfully.

What the hell had happened last night? God, she didn't even want to know.

Last thing she remembered was opening that bottle of brandy in her office, and then everything was like a black hole.

She sighed with a mix of pain and resentment; she needed to get up, at least to get something for her headache.

/-/-/-/-/-/

So you put two spoons of soap, choose medium power, hit start and done!

Or at least that was supposed to do it…man, he needed to do laundry more often, especially since he got that new washing machine.

"Hey…" Tyson was struggling to get the washing machine started when he heard the voice of his housemate.

Kai looked, for lack of a better word, like shit. The bags under her eyes were of a deep, angry purple, her hair was messier than he has ever seen it, her skin was of a sickly white tone and the smell coming from her was just foul.

"Hey, you're alive!" the blunet said playfully, but he was still angry at her, so if he said it a little louder than he should, who could blame him?

She smiled sarcastically and pressed her forehead against the door frame, closing her eyes tightly.

"What did I do?" she was no fool, she had noticed the edge of anger in her friend's voice, and if the pain she was going through right now was any indication, it was probably justified.

"Well, let's see…" the blunet, after finally getting that damn machine started, crossed his arms over his chest and started saying "You drank 200 dollars worth of alcohol, you lost your cellphone and your jacket, you asked a random guy to take you here in his trunk and you said some very  _interesting_  stuff"

Kai felt the need to slap herself on the face, hard, but just the idea of moving made her cringe in pain, so she settled for moaning in shame –which was also painful, mind you.

"What did I said?" she asked, part of her didn't wanted to know, but as part of her self-imposed punishment, she force herself to listen.

"Well…you called your mother 'mom'" the confusion in the other's blood-shooted eyes was clear to see "And a slut, apparently"

"Gold-digger" the dual-blunette closed her eyes and sighed before saying that.

"Come again?" the man had to ask, part because he hadn't heard well, as she had mumbled her words, and part because he wanted to have heard wrong.

"My mother was a gold-digger" she clarified, deep down knowing that it shouldn't affect her as much as it did "At least that's what Voltaire always implied"

"Did he also tell you women are only good for one thing?" after Tyson said that, Kai looked at him, not comprehending what he meant.

Should he tell her about everything he knew from last night? She didn't seem to remember, and he was pretty sure that if she knew, she wouldn't want to remember.

But to keep her on the dark felt…unfair.

After sometime, the dual-blunette realized what he had meant, but didn't ask for more details; and he let the chance to tell her the whole truth slip away.

"You called Voltaire 'grandpa'" that earned him the other's full attention once more "said he'll get angry if he found out you stole his liquor"

"Ugh…" she moaned annoyed, the other didn't have to say that he needed an explanation for her to know that he did "That's from the first time I got drunk"

"The first time you got drunk was at Max's eighteen birthday party" the blunet looked puzzle, this couldn't be…right?

"No…that's the first time you know of" she really, really didn't wanted to talk about this.

"What happened?" Tyson probed once it was obvious the woman wasn't going to talk out of her own motivation.

"It was soon before I met you" Kai sighed in surrender, she could imagine how worried the other must have been for her last night, and she owned him an explanation.

"Voltaire had the special stash were he kept the best liquor he owned, and I stole some and got drunk" the dual-blunette had to held her head while talking, it hurt so much "Boy, was he mad…worst beat-up I ever had that I can't remember"

"Why did you do that?" Tyson asked taking a few steps closer towards the other. He was still mad at her for doing such a stupid thing, but he cared for her a lot more.

"I don't know. I…" Kai sighed once more; she so badly wanted to bash her head against the wall. What in hell's name had possessed her to drink so much?

"A few week before that, I had have my…first period" a light blush crept to her cheeks, god, so many years later and it was still hard to say "He never saw me the same way after that and by that time, I had never seen a woman drinking alcohol before" she had to shut up, her head hurt and her throat was closing.

"And you thought that drinking was something only men did" he finished for her. Everything she just said and what it all meant was awful and more messed up than he thought.

"I guess so" Kai didn't wanted to think about what it meant, she had enough as it was to add psychological childhood traumas to the injury "I just wanted him to look at me like he used to"

"Why?" granted, Tyson had never personally dealt with Voltaire, but he knew enough about him to know that he hadn't been a good person –for not using other words.

"There was a time when I loved him" she really had no idea how she had loved that bastard, the only thing she could agree to with his psychologist was that it had something to do with Stockholm syndrome "He was my grandpa"

Neither of them said anything after that, and the dual-blunette was grateful for it. That was enough self-punishment for a day and she was one push away from fainting.

The blunet sighed sadly, he was regretting so much wanting to discuss this, and technically he shouldn't stop, he should try to get to other to let it all out. But he couldn't bring himself to make her suffer more than he already had.

"Come" he grabbed her by the shoulder and pushed her away from the laundry room "There are some aspirins in the kitchen"

Tyson guided them to the kitchen and Kai leaned against him the whole way there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you'd like it!


	6. Chapter IV: Those things that makes you sick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> READ THE WARNINGS FIRST!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter's Warnings: Genderswap, Yuri (girlXgirl relationships), old values, violence, harsh words, domestic abuse (I don't know if this one's right, it's more of the situation when someone hits a woman cuz' she's a woman, don't know the exact english term), I went to great measures not to have to call this a non-con/dub-con, it's just really violent sex (I know, I know), it's not a dual-personality situation, more of a 'the person you once were VS the person you want to be' kind of thing, and as expected, my great skills in avoiding completely explicit sex scenes! (no, seriously, I suck)
> 
> Disclaimer: Beyblade doesn't belong to me, there! I said it! Happy now?

Chapter IV: Those things that makes you sick.

Kai opened her office's door and sighed relieved, seeing that her jacket –and surely cellphone too- was on top of her desk.

She took the jacket and rummaged through its pockets, finding that, thankfully, her cellphone was there. She grabbed it and saw that she had three unread messages and one missed call.

The dual-blunette stayed looking at the bright screen of her phone not knowing what to do. Those messages and that call all came from the same number, Hilary's.

" _When you have a moment, come by the apartment"_  that's what the last message read, and she swallowed hard.

Kai put on her jacket and decided that yes, she had a free moment right now.

/-/-/-/-/-/

Hilary opened the door, finding a sheepishly looking dual-blunette on the other side.

"Hey" Kai said looking to the side; it was still a little awkward being around the brunette.

"Oh my god, what happened to you?" Hilary's question made her blush, because she had forgotten that she, basically, still looked like shit.

She had have some time to rest, but the bags under her eyes had yet to go and her skin was still of that sickly pale tone.

She really should have put on some make-up.

"Nothing, just…" should she tell her the truth? "…a bad day" she didn't want to. In any case, she hadn't even told her the truth about her 'adventures' with alcohol  _when_  they were together, so…

"Are you ok?" they  _may_  have broken up, but that didn't mean that the brunette didn't care about her well-being, especially when she looked like  _that_.

"Yeah, I'm fine" she said, hoping that settled the matter "You called me?"

Hilary let her in and walked towards the coffee-table, where a medium-sized pile of letter where resting.

"This letters came for you" she picked them up and handed them to the other woman.

"Seriously?" Kai sighed annoyed, rummaging through the letters to see what they were "I called three time to change my address"

They were some bills and miscellaneous stuff, nothing the brunette should have bothered to give to her personally.

"Thank you" she said, after which an awkward silence befell them. Neither of them knew what to do or what to say, there were some things Kai wanted to say and some questions Hilary wanted to ask, but they knew that just a wrong pronounced word could start a fire and they didn't want to get burn.

"I should go" the dual-blunette said after a while, putting the letters inside her jacket, and the brunette nodded in acknowledge.

"It's what you do best" she was almost at the door when she heard that not-so-low whisper, and she stopped on her tracks, turning around to look at the other woman.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kai asked with a frown in her face.

"You've heard me" Hilary responded to the other's glare with one of her own, crossing her arms over her chest, her chin up, provoking the other into a fight.

The dual-blunette inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly, willing her anger to stay in check. A little voice at the back of her head said that she shouldn't let that disrespectful tone go unpunished. She ignored it.

"I don't wanna fight you, Hilary" this is not why she had come here, and this was taking on a bad turn.

"You never do, you always leave" the brunette's frown deepened, and she stood her ground. She didn't know why so suddenly she wanted to fight with her ex-lover, it was definitely not what she had thought when she called her earlier, but she didn't feel like stopping.

Kai clenched her teeth, her jaw hurting from the force she was putting in keeping her mouth shut, to avoid saying something she'll regret.

She couldn't deny what the other has said. During the six years of their relationship, all their big fights had ended with her slamming the door and storming out, but nor for the reason the brunette thought.

Not entirely.

"Don't. Test me" she said through greeted teeth, hands on tight fist at her side. That incessant little voice on the back of her head telling her to put that woman on her place.

It sounded suspiciously like her grandfather's.

"Oh, I'm sorry, am I upsetting you?" Hilary didn't know what she was asking for and Kai had to bite her tongue to prevent an infuriating insult to go past her lips.

Her first instinct was to leave, go through that door and punch a wall if she had to let her anger out, but she needed to LEAVE!

"Goodbye, Hil" she turned around, fist shaking from repressed anger, with all the intention of walking out of there and slamming the door shut behind her.

"Sure, ran away like you always do, you pussy!" silence befell them once those words left the brunette's lips.

The dual-blunette stood where she was, half way out of the apartment. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, calmly closing the door, staying inside; no longer thinking about getting out of here without a fight.

"You better take that back" she said as menacingly as she could, a slight glare marring her face. She took one step closer to the other women.

Hilary took one step back and swallowed hard, a chill running down her spine. It was safe to say that she was frightened by the other's sudden change of attitude.

Kai walked towards her with a calm that was unnerving, and although she wasn't that much tall, she was taller than her, and she was using that in her advantage to make the other feel inferior –which, unfortunately, was working-, and her crimson-red eyes were as cold as a piece of ice.

The brunette has seen that look a few times before, but  _never_  directed at her.

"M-make me" Hilary cursed that slip of the tongue, but stood her ground and glared back, straightening her posture so the other wouldn't see the slight shaking cursing through her body.

Kai clenched her fists, her frown deepening, and in the blink of an eye she pushed the other woman against the wall, holding her shoulders with force.

She couldn't remember the last time she had frightened someone so much, she thought she didn't had it in her to do it anymore. But by the look in the other's brown eyes and the tremble in her lips, she still did.

She had forgotten how good it felt.

A wicked smirk curled her lips and she leaned a little closer to the brunette's face, her hands leaving her shoulders, sliding up the wall till the other was effectively trapped between the wall and her body.

"You don't really want that" she whispered into her ear, enjoying the chill running down the other's back. The rational part of her mind was telling her to stop, that this wasn't her, not anymore, and she couldn't go back; but she couldn't hear it, the sounds were drowned by that voice that sounded so familiar yet so different to what she remembered.

"Go fuck yourself" was the brunette's response. Hilary pressed her back against the wall, hands curling at her side and sweat starting to run down her neck. She didn't like the calm and frightening attitude her ex-girlfriend has suddenly taken, but to her dismay, she couldn't deny that her closeness and her warm breath on her ear was turning her on.

"Seriously?" Kai said, annoyed. The part of her that didn't like anything related to that word momentarily taking over and making her take a step back, her arms still imprisoning the other.

' _That's all they do. That's all they understand'_  but that voice kept on telling her to punish the other for her insolence, that she shouldn't let a  _woman_  treat her like that. And right now she will listen to it, even though she knew very well that she shouldn't.

The dual-blunette leaned closer, trying to look directly into the brunette's eyes, but when she avoided her gaze, her hand grabbed her chin, with more force than she has ever used on her, and forced her to look her in the eyes.

Neither of them said something, but it was clear to Kai that her ex-lover was scared out of her mind. And she liked it.

Oh, she had forgotten how much she liked this feeling. That sense of power and dominance, of control over the other person, was overwhelming, better than anything she had ever felt. She loved it.

Why had she stopped?

Applying more force on the hold she had on her chin so Hilary wouldn't move, she pressed her lips against hers. The kiss was rough, violent and totally in her control, which made the heat of her anger pool at her belly, twisting into pleasure, encouraging her to keep going.

Lost in the sensations, she let her hold loosen, and Hilary took that chance to push her away, slapping her with as much force as she had the second she was free from her hold.

Kai stumbled three steps back before regaining her balance, and the pain from the right side of her face made her laugh amused. She took a hand to her lower lip, where the pain was more intense, and when she drew it back, some blood had smeared her fingers.

She had to give it to the brunette; she hadn't thought she had enough force in her to break her lip.

She turned to face the other, the cold, almost murderous look in her crimson-red eyes making the brunette swallow in fear, and pressing her back against the wall she tried to put some more space between them, but before she could react and defend herself, the dual-blunette returned the slap with force.

Hilary's body swayed to the side, but Kai grabbed her before she could hit the floor and pushed her back against the wall, claiming her lips in another fierce kiss.

The brunette tried to push the other away, she didn't like the painful, almost brutal grip Kai had on her, but even if she didn't want to, she couldn't deny that she was starting to respond to that kiss.

God, she liked it. In a way, at least. She still loved this bastard and it was such a turn on to see her prude and insufferably shy ex-girlfriend taking control like this, even if she was going to be bruised tomorrow.

Kai moved her hands down Hilary's chest, palms pressing hard against the skin, till they reached her hips, where they made a quick job of sneaking under the shirt. She pushed her thumbs hard against the other's flesh, right under the ribs, making Hilary moan in a mixture of pain and pleasure, and she took advantage of that to introduce her tongue into the other's mouth.

The brunette got tired of being completely passive in the act, so she started to kiss just as fiercely, giving as good as she got. Her hands went around her partner's body, one tangling in her hair and pulling, the other digging its nails into her shoulders.

Kai frowned at the woman's actions, not liking that she was responding with the same treatment. She took a hold of the hand on her shoulder and pressed it against the wall over the brunette's head, twisting the wrist to the point that it was unbearable.

Hilary used her other hand, still tangled in the dual-colored hair, to push her away, the grip the dual-blunette had on her wrist making both women stumble back.

Kai took a moment to breath and back-handed the brunette, freeing her wrist and letting her fall to the floor.

She stood there, chest heaving from the previous activities, looking down on her ex-lover. Her mind cleared for a second, just enough to make her feel sick for putting the other in that situation.

' _They're just a toy for you to play with, and they need to understand that'_  but she didn't want to feel sick; she didn't want to feel any remorse right now. She still was angry, seething with rage actually, and she didn't want to stop nor get a hold of herself.

She walked to the fallen women and grabbed her from the back of her shirt, pushing her into her feet. She contemplated about grabbing her by the hair, but decided against it. This way she was in perfect position to turn the other around and press their bodies together, and while one hand took care of ripping the shirt away from the woman's body, the other graded her by the back of her neck and forced their lips together again.

The dual-blunette took one step forward, and then another and another, guiding their bodies towards the bedroom. Hilary, still somewhat disoriented from the previous hit, could only let herself by walked back, half-heartily responding to the searing kiss.

She reacted when the back of her knees hit against the bed, realizing that the top of her body was completely bare, while her pants and underwear was being pulled down right at that minute, and wanting to be in even conditions, she took both hands to her partner's hips, quickly undoing her belt.

Kai pushed Hilary on top of the bed before she could undress her. The brunette needed to understand that she was in control here, that if something happened it was because she allowed it and there was no discussion.

She needed to understand that this was not about giving pleasure; it wasn't even about taking pleasure, this was about dominance, about control over the other party.

And  _he_ 'll be damned if a woman gets the upper hand.

She crawled on top of the brunette's body, capturing her hands over her head and pushing her against the mattress, reassuming her kissing. This time it was sweet, tender and deep, just a show of what could happen if the one underneath her understood what was her place.

The brunette moaned at the sweet treatment, body accommodating to the one on top. The friction between the other's clothes and her overheated skin and the brutal grip on her wrist were painful, but just made the pleasure cursing through her climb higher.

She couldn't believe she could be as masochist as she was being right now. But she liked it and they were way past the point of no return, so she'll let the dual-blunette do as she pleased.

From then on the room was filled with pain and pleasure. Hands were harsh and bruised, while lips were tender and careful. Clothes were forgotten and both figures molded perfectly around each other.

Exhaustion soon won Hilary over, she'll be sore in the morning and bruises she won't be able to hide will cover her body, but she'll regret everything once she'll wake up.

On the other hand, exhaustion was still fighting over the dual-blunette.

Looking down on the body underneath her, Kai felt sick to the core. Her mind still couldn't believe what she had just done, the thoughts she had during the whole act made her skin crawl, and a deep, burning sense of disgust was growing in her stomach.

She had felt so much hatred towards the brunette and, worst of all, towards herself. It seemed almost humanly impossible to hold so much loathing inside one-self.

Carefully as not to disturb the other, she slides to the side of the bed, the soft sheets itching against her naked body. She covered her mouth with one hand, just in case the screams chocking at her throat were to come out, and looked down on herself.

What she saw made her sickness worse, shivers went down her spine and her muscles gave up under her weight.

Kai fell hard against the mattress and that's when exhaustion ultimately won over the storm inside of her. Her crimson-red eyes closed slowly and she succumbed to a dreamless sleep.

Tomorrow would be a bad day, but right now, she wanted to rest.

To be continued…

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is not gonna be pretty, which is not to say that it won't have it happy/fun times, but it will deal with more serious things that were left pendant in the prequel.  
> It will deal with:  
> _The way Kai was raised: what she was thought, how she was thought and the reasons behind her cross-dresing.  
> _Kai's alcoholism: yes, it's alcoholism, even if in the prequel it didn't seem like it. When did she started drinking and why does she drink.  
> _Kai's gender dysphoria: what's gender dysphoria, why she has it, where it came from and why she deal (or does not deal) with it.
> 
> Yeah, those are all Kai's problem XD but well, those are the more serious parts.  
> This fic will also focus more on Kai and Tyson and their relationship, Hilary will show up eventually, but for now she's not a main character.
> 
> Hope you liked it and c'ya!


End file.
